Tales of a badass Rollergirl Wanna-be, Vol. 1

Goddamn am I tired! Holy shit this Rollergirl thing is going to kick my ass, though that’s not necessarily a bad thing…


Today was Day 1 of "let’s see if I can still skate." With Christine and my cousin Dana, the first step was getting to the rink. A mere minutes away—and the rink the Philly Rollergirls use—is Millennium Skate World in Camden, N.J.


That’s right, Camden. Most dangerous city in the country Camden…


Needless to say, there was a certain measure of fear as we made our way across the bridge and through a red light (my bad!), making a turn at the chop-shop and down the road, past the projects, to the rink. Upon entering we were treated to the mother of a young child who’d just had a birthday party at the rink threatening to, I’m not sure, it was hard to hear, but I think possibly dismember, sit on, shoot and/or not pay the manager on duty.


Forty-five minutes later, after waiting in a long, snaking line because, well, there’s nothing else to do in Camden but wait in line or get shot, right?, we were in, and following an in-depth consultation with the magic tan rollerskate master regarding shoe size, we three laced up, stood up, and … proceeded to fall.


Okay, okay, it wasn’t really that dramatic, we actually ventured out onto the rink before planting ass, but we certainly did our share of giving in to mighty gravity. Well, except for Dana, but she’s not trying to be a rollergirl, she just wanted to get around the rink a few times!


I am happy to report, however, that Ms. Christine and I, by the end of the evening, were pushing into each other, skating backwards (wobbly and slow, but not too shabby nonetheless), crossing over on the turns and basically vowing to practice a lot more before going up before the judges Feb. 27. . .


Two of whom I met after returning to the (relative) safety of the City of Brotherly Love. They were manning (no pun intended) the Rollergirls booth at the Philadelphia Tattoo Convention ( i.e. Land of inked gods. Holy motherfuck!). As I walked away, the one girl’s parting words—"I look forward to pushing you around"—just made me want to skate more!


Which I will be doing… as soon as this Advil kicks in. Ow!!!

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