Rollin’ Rove’r

You know, the obvious place to dig in regarding the bullshit fucked up state of the union is with fatty blatty blabbermouth doughboy Karl Rove and his penchant for bullying and blabbing his flabby way to Shrub’s political victory at any cost.

But no. Let’s take a moment, shall we, bow our heads and reflect on the recent announcement that our dearly drunken departed HST will indeed be shot out of a cannon in ash form, with the hottest man to ever walk the earth, Johnny Depp, organizing and presiding over the festivities:

ASPEN, Colo. – Friends and family of gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson are preparing to pepper the sky with the late writer’s ashes.

His cremated remains will be shot into the air Aug. 20 from a cannon installed on a 150-foot-high tower behind his home in Woody Creek. The 67-year-old Thompson, who had been in failing health, shot himself at his home on Feb. 20 after a long and flamboyant career.

Actor Johnny Depp, a close friend of Thompson’s, has hired a Beverly Hills, Calif., events planner to oversee the event, which will be closed to the public.

“We had talked a couple of times about his last wishes to be shot out of a cannon of his own design,” Depp said in a recent interview with AP Television News. “All I’m doing is trying to make sure his last wish comes true.” AP

Ah, well, all I can say is if Mr. Depp is in the business of making wishes come true, my home address is….

… heh heh.

Anyway, back to reality, and the sudden and, gasp!, shocking revelation that pasty-faced Rove, a sub-human so deeply dark and disturbing to the core he’d probably accuse his own mother of being a lesbian cross-dressing crack-addicted porn star unpatriotic Arab-loving alcoholic guilty of hate crimes against amputee U.S. soldiers as they return to their yellow-ribboned 1950s mom and apple pie neighborhoods — complete with porch swings and friendly neighbors always willing to lend a cup of sugar or a hand (no pun intended!) — in order to get ahead in the polls and take any political opponent down.

Why not? His list of ” accomplishments” says it all…

(And, in an aside response to Mags‘ distress over the fact that she and Turd Blossom share the same birthdate, I could potentially be related to the roly-poly pasty puke-inducing pustule as he’s Norwegian-American. Who’s worse off now?!!?)

Thankfully for the world and everyone in it, the White House press corps pulled its collective head out of its arse yesterday and discovered that it does, indeed, have balls. Here’s just a little bit of the transcript that made me fall to my knees and praise the great and wondrous being(s) that made the sky open up and the heavens rain down small, sharp and pointy poisoned quills, which the assembled reporters actually managed to use to fashion real questions for talking head going-to-hell soulless mouthpiece Scott McClellan:

Q Scott, I mean, just — I mean, this is ridiculous. The notion that you’re going to stand before us after having commented with that level of detail and tell people watching this that somehow you decided not to talk. You’ve got a public record out there. Do you stand by your remarks from that podium, or not?

MR. McCLELLAN: And again, David, I’m well aware, like you, of what was previously said, and I will be glad to talk about it at the appropriate time. The appropriate time is when the investigation —

Q Why are you choosing when it’s appropriate and when it’s inappropriate?

MR. McCLELLAN: If you’ll let me finish —

Q No, you’re not finishing — you’re not saying anything. You stood at that podium and said that Karl Rove was not involved. And now we find out that he spoke out about Joseph Wilson’s wife. So don’t you owe the American public a fuller explanation? Was he involved, or was he not? Because, contrary to what you told the American people, he did, indeed, talk about his wife, didn’t he?

MR. McCLELLAN: David, there will be a time to talk about this, but now is not the time to talk about it.

Q Do you think people will accept that, what you’re saying today?

MR. McCLELLAN: Again, I’ve responded to the question.

Go ahead, Terry.

Q Well, you’re in a bad spot here, Scott, because after the investigation began, after the criminal investigation was underway, you said — October 10th, 2003, “I spoke with those individuals, Rove, Abrams and Libby, as I pointed out, those individuals assured me they were not involved in this.” From that podium. That’s after the criminal investigation began. Now that Rove has essentially been caught red-handed peddling this information, all of a sudden you have respect for the sanctity of the criminal investigation?

Oh it makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside!

The question remains, of course, whether Rove will roll for this. Knowing Shrub’s administration and how dirty it is, not likely, especially considering the fact that the Dems, who could potentially discover a spine thanks to the press’ newfound anatomically-correct prowess, are in the minority and therefore powerless to challenge the power. As the NY Times writes:

Democrats, as the minority party in both the House and the Senate, have no ability to push forward with a formal Congressional investigation. But Mr. Rove is such a high-profile political target that his role is sure to draw intense scrutiny from both Democrats in Congress and liberal interest groups.

But, potentially, the very thing that has put the administration where it is today may also be what brings it down.

And, just like Granma used to say, “The bigger they are, the harder they fall.”

Turd Blossom’s about as big as they get.

Ew! I’m going to go be sick now …

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One comment

  1. Mags · July 13, 2005

    Oh yeah? How BIG is he? :: raising eyebrow ::Okay, again – throwing up in the mouth a little just then.

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